List of Places I Have Recently Learned Where You’re Apparently Not Allowed to Eat Sunflower Seeds and Spit Out the Shells
- Apparently NOT in your own damn car
- Apparently NOT your living room
- Apparently NOT your backyard
- Apparently NOT your front yard neither
- Apparently NOT in the middle school during your damn kids flute recital
- Apparently NOT in the vice principal’s (dick head) office at your kid’s middle school
- Apparently NOT even in the high school parking lot
- Apparently NOT at the baseball game (UNLESS YOU’RE A PLAYER?? (wtf?!))
- Apparently NOT when you’re watching the baseball game at the Wild Wings Cafe because you got kicked out of the damn stadium
- Apparently NOT in your wife’s car
- Apparently NOT in your wife’s office
- Apparently NOT in your wife’s lawyer’s office
- Apparently NOT in the court room during divorce proceedings
- Apparently NOT in baliff’s (dick head) holding cell
- Apparently NOT in actual jail
- Apparently NOT in the weird chamber where the parole board meets in
- Apparently NOT in the foyer between jail and the outside world
- Apparently NOT on the greyhound bus back to your cousin’s (dick head) house
- Apparently NOT in your cousin’s backyard
